i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
