I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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