you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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