well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
