I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
3pm strippers are depressing
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
