doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Someone stole a lamp last night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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