i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
