He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
did i just pee glitter
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
