Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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