So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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