is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
