bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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