i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
