so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
