We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
