Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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