Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
