I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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