I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
pray to the hookup gods
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
