the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
