so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
