The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I party with great urgency now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
