Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You can't motorboat a personality
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
