turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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