laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
