No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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