Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
