she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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