Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
