People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
