If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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