Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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