smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she looked like the before picture.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
