They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
