Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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