you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Randomize
