just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
