A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
