I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
