I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
