Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
