i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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