He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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