Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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