Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
