my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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