Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
