Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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