just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My bed smells like the plague
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
