1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You smell like stripper and shame
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
