If i come over, it means nothing
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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