Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
