you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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