one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
