guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
